Well, that’s what I thought. While I’ve been acting as a feedback volunteer for Fledgling Arts Collective I’ve been keeping an eye open for other suitable voluntary roles, which would not only keep my skills up to date, but also build up my confidence after several years dealing with my Social Anxiety Disorder.
A couple of days ago I found one that was right up my street so to speak – a “Get Digital Volunteer” for the local library service. This involved helping people get to grips with computers, which was something I had started to do towards the end of my I.T. course at the old Peele House centre in Cromer around 22 years ago. Naturally as it would affect what I was doing with Fledgling, I sent a message about it to Dale, who was one of the managers, who was generally quite reasonable about it, asking me to keep him posted when I knew of any developments.
The founder of the charity, a lady called Jewels, sent a reply which, although polite, wasn’t exactly supportive, being more akin to a stern lecture about responsibilities and commitment and so on and so forth. I thought she’d be pleased that I had a chance of a role which would enable me to utilise my skills more effectively than just sitting at a computer, reading copious amounts of poetry etc, and simply typing positive comments for the sake of it.
Anyway, I replied to her message, basically explaining about the Social Anxiety Disorder and other Issues I had including lack of confidence – well, let’s face it – I find it damned near impossible to express myself as eloquently as most people sometimes. Even doing things like this blog for example can be challenging because I have trouble trying to find the right words for a certain situation. People in the past have written me off as a slow learner, or just thick, while others have speculated that I could have Aspergers but nothing has ever been done about it, but I digress. I’m expecting a reply back, but I’m not sure it’ll be a positive one. In the meantime, It appears that I’ll be finishing up with Fledgling, but I’m not too sure about what’ll be happening in the future. As Paul remarked when we were discussing it earlier on Facebook - "If you volunteer you may as do something that will benefit somebody else & give you experience as comment on badly written poems written by people whose talent is more Laurel and Hardy than Laureate".